April 30, 2012

I am…

I am a Dog
dog dog dog
wag-wag-wag
wag my tail
smile smile smile
All the time trying to make you:
SMILE SMILE SMILE
kiss kiss kiss
want to kiss you al the time
no no no
I don’t want your shallow interest
no no no
can’t you hear me bark
No No No….
I want you by my side
WTF I don’t want to be a dog

I am a Cat
cat cat cat
can’t you hear me pur
pur pur pur
It means “I love you”
love love love
I want to be close to you
warmth warmth warmth
Here’s a rat
rat rat rat
for
you you you
It’s a token of my love to you
no no no
you give me a disturbed
LOOK LOOK LOOK
you don’t like how I pur my love
no no no
WTF I don’t want to be a cat

NO NO NO
don’t know what to be
neither seems work to me
all this love comes easy to me
but you gotta give me something
back…back…back…

NO NO NO
now I am a Bull
BULL BULL BULL
smashing myself against:
WALL. WALL. WALL. WALL.
that won’t budge
Budge? Budge? Budge?
WTF I don’t want to be a bull

now I really want to be a rabbit
YES YES YES
and
HIDE HIDE HIDE
in a hole
where I’m safe
safe safe safe?
with the warmth…warmth…warmth…
and the grumbling of the earth
and its dirt tenderly kissing me coat
but I cannot be a rabbit
Wait WTF? Why Not?
CAN’T CAN’T CAN’T
because the earth isn’t you
no…no…no…
wanna feel like I am
HERE HERE HERE
Yours…yours…yours….
not like a dog
trailing for you affection
no no no
nor like a cat
purring for you love
No no no
because I end up like the bull
going nowhere
make me feel like I am
Yours…

*Written January 2009

April 28, 2012

Quotes by moi

“Considering me, considering you, considering everything else, isn’t something I want to be considering.”

“You are attractively clever and eloquently beautiful.”

“I don’t mean half the things I say and I don’t say half the things I mean.”

“Humility was a word created by the poor to have the rich feel guilty”

“You are inclined to humility when in the reign of success you fear failure.”

“I don’t want love: I want a life long infatuation that ends tomorrow-when the sun ceases to rise.”

April 25, 2012

Fuck You

Thoughts rush through my mind
Reality waves ram upon my heart
The sun begins to set
The tide begins to rise
One by one the shells fall prey to the depths of the sea
Slowly they abandon the shore
I am left alone
Left only with my reflection upon the selfish ocean
Which takes and gives with no consideration toward me
Mocking me as it begins to slither through my toes
I stand there knowing that tonight will be different
Tomorrow you won’t be there
You have left me with tonights rising tide
Tomorrow I will look through the thousands of shells
There will be colorful and shiny ones
Tomorrow you won’t be among them
Eventhough you promised you wouldn’t do this
I was fool enough to believe
I was fool enough to fall inlove
I was fool enough to trust your every word
In my ear you would sing to me a lovely melody
In which you told me of your ocean of love
LOVE LOVE LOVE
The word makes me sick and the acids within smolder my heart
Your lusciuous lovely language of love was lubricated in lies
Which were ill-inspired by your selfish greed
But your not fully to blame
No
You told what I wanted to hear
What I needed to hear
What I yearned to hear
well…
forget this
undying
cancerous
kerfuffle:
YOU  

wrote this sometime january 2009, can you see the fuck you in the end? no? look again

April 17, 2012

White

Eve bit the apple
Sinking into its white poison
Her white teeth-
Fangs-
Disguised by her luscious lips:
A smile
Whitened corpse
White bones leeched by our sinful flesh
White mocks us
Binds us
White Picket Fence
White Dress
White Panties and White Bras
Aha!
White paper
Cuts so delicately
White:
Cut it, snort it, embrace it
An honest white
No propaganda
Snowing subtlety on your skin
FUN!
Angels, Snowmen, Sledding
Lies
Frostbite, Chapped Lips, Frigid
White
Tricks us
Makes us
Addicts
to this false notion of hope
Ignorance in Innocence

April 17, 2012

Gone

The sun teasingly unveils itself from its glistening ocean as it undresses its light
Light that crudely infiltrates my eyes
Eyes bloodied by the anguishing waking reality that you are gone
Gone with the nights cautioning tide of a spiteful heart
Heart engulfing my vessels with bittered-poisoned blood
Blood havocking into my brain in lacerating hate
Hate that was love
Love that was not there
There that I wanted to escape
Escape from sincere trust belittled by mistrust: then and now
Now lips draught of speech sewn all truths in the traitor within
Within, my heart morses every beat for freedom
Freedom is my master who has connived to imprison me
Me who foolishly freed myself from you, my friend
Friend who selfishly-selflessly bound my mouth to your ear
Ear which entertained with love my thoughts, myself
Myself which I threw away
Away from you:
My true best friend

Written May 2010, notice the repetition of words

March 21, 2012

Slip

Love me now
Holding to your griping hope
I bead between me
Watering me out.
I am slipping.
Love me now.
Love who I was?
No.
Sea of love when you see me
Now
Not who I was
Then
What I could
Be, not me
Hope in me …
What if I slip?
I don’t love me
You love me, not I
Before I slip,
Before you go,
Hold this rock.
Dry my secrets into nothingness
Bleed my sins onto myself.
So that when I
Slip
Fall
Back
You won’t be above
Looking
Down
Wondering
If you could love
Me
Still
March 5, 2012

Title

I lie to everyone-all the time.
Turn back the clock.
Close your
Ears
Mouth
Make the world blind.
Live
someone else’s life.
Divulge
this strangers
secrets.
Become someone else.
Insecurities
built this stranger.
You molded
your shame into
their strength.
You
let them envelope your being
while you’re busy dieing inside.

March 5, 2012

Asphyxiation

Asphyxiation
Gasp…breathe: scared!
Seconds to break down these beating walls
Time sands
Heart chained
Eyes paint his tragedy:
The last survivor in Pandora dies…
Betrayed by his mere essence
Crippled by trust
Poisoned by reality

March 5, 2012

Hewned

My feet can splinter
My feet can crack
My feet can bleed
But I will not stop
Continue, for every wince
Of pain that colors my face
I can subdue the constant
Badgering within me
Like an impending catastrophe
My hands can shake
My hands can sweat a fountain of anxiety
My hands can fracture with every fall
But I will not stop
Ragged and lacerated as they may be
They are nostalgic nomads
Retracing their way back to the softness
That they use to dance with
The ground can shake
The ground can burn
The ground can bruise
But I will not stop
I have a dream
I have a wish
I have this love
I will not stop
I will give my home
I will give my life
I will give my heart
I will not stop
Until my feet fail me
Until my hands can no longer break my fall
Until the ground swallows me
You see I am going home
To my heart
*June 7 2010. Probably one of my worst poems

March 4, 2012

Untiled

I am loneliness
Strayed
Dogging love
Here
there
And her…
Coughing effalcating sickness
Leashed love:
Lost
Past
Replace
She.
Bend a knee-
No! Flee
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